HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER? By Jeff Foxworthy

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line. (Yep!)
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something. (It's so much fun!)
3. You walk into a store & hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. ____" & know you've been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes. (20 if you're at DeLong!)
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period. (Unfortunately with pregnancy this one doesn't work for me!)
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom. (very true)
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine. ( ;D )
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off." (Oh my goodness- YES!! I DO!!)
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside. (Mom and I talk about it every month and sure enough- that night there's a full moon!)
12.. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today." (That jinxes it!)
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public. (This is one habit I wish I could break!)
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin. (Wouldn't that be wonderful?!)
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice." (I've done this type of thing to Jason! Poor guy!!)
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils. :)
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents. :) :)


Not a single lie in the group!!!!! Great list!

Baby Thummel

Gasp!!!!

Ok, so I'm babysitting my favorite little seven year old girl today and we've got background music on the computer. Her mom is a very eclectic (sp?) music person- she's got everything from the Beatles, to Eric Clapton, to Fantasia (from American Idol) and everything in between. But their house is the only place I can hear two awesome songs- Return to Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins and I Don't Want to Live on the Moon from Sesame Street with Aaron Neville. So we turn those on and we're singing along. We get to "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" and I start thinking about my old Sesame Street days and I say "I LOVE Kermit!"

And she says, and I quote, "Who?"

GASP!!!!!! (Whoever is in the room with Mandy when she reads this, please pick her up off the floor!)

Who?!!! What do you mean who?!!! I wait to get over my shock, and then I casually say "Kermit the Frog."

And she says....... "Who's that?"

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What can I even say to that?!!! Kermy, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy's love, the green guy!!!!!!!! What is happening when these kids know Dora the Explorer but not Kermit?!! I'm going to start searching now, because my kids WILL be watching Kermit, and Bert and Ernie, and as MANY episodes of Smurfs as possible!!

"What did you get her for your anniversary?"

A couple months ago Jason stopped at the bank the day before our anniversary to deposit his check. This year, since it was our 5th anniversary, we decided to do something special so we went on vacation last week to Oregon. Apparently Jason forgot that that was our anniversary gift to each other! When he got to the bank the lady asked him if he had anything exciting planned for the summer. Jason told her and man working with her that the next day was our fifth anniversary. "Awww! What did you get her?" they asked. Jason paused..... thought.... and said "Well, I got her pregnant!"

Between the tears of laughter they did manage to say "Well, that's probably what she wanted!"

"Why's it beating so fast? Tell it to relax!!!"

Wow! It's been a long time since I wrote last. A lot has happened since then! I've spent a lot of time subbing, teaching at Sylvan, and teaching ELL summer school. But the most exciting of developments is that I found out in June I'm pregnant!!! YEAY!!!!! Everyone had such funny reactions to the news. Jason was really excited, but kept saying "Oh dear!" My mom was, of course, incredibly pumped to be a grandma. My dad refused to go fishing with Jason because "now I know what you've been doing with my daughter!" LOL He was very excited too. Dianna cried, Scott looked frightened by being called Grandpa, and my brother was overwhelmingly thrilled to be an uncle. We didn't get a single bad response! It was such an exciting time.

Then I got morning sickness! It's amazing how easily that can suck the excitement out of the room!!!! LOL Until Friday. On Friday, I had my first doctors appointment and for the first time ever, we heard the heartbeat. We heard the heartbeat!!!!! What an incredible experience!! They said "It may be hard to hear because you're only at 12 weeks so if we don't find it right away, don't worry." And they put the microphone on my belly and bang, there it was!!!! It was like, wow, there IS a little person in there! It beat at about 160 beats per minute which they said was perfect. I brought a tape recorder with me so that I could play it for everyone. It was really fun calling people with that, but my dad had to have had the best reaction- after playing the recording for him he quipped- "Why is the heart beating so fast? Tell that baby to relax!!!"

Overall, it has been a great last couple of months!!!

Instruction Manual

Everything you buy these days comes with a set of instructions. Whether it is a bread maching or a mirror, it'll tell you how to use the product and how not to use it. ("Warning: if you are unhappy with what you see when you look into our product do not smash/drop/ destroy our product. Possible side effects may be lacerations, blood loss, and seven years bad luck.")

So here's my question: why can't life come with an instruction manual? AND, more importantly, the warning section of that manual? When you are old enough to be responsible for yourself, why does everyone ONLY say "These are going to be the most wonderful years of your life." We all know there will be some incredible moments in our lives. We all have them and remember them with fondness. But why don't they say "Hey, there are going to be some times, more than you'd like, where you're going to want to bash your head against a wall!" No one says that!!!!! No one talks about the times you'd prefer to stay in bed all day or on the couch in front of the TV lost in someone else's drama.

So I've decided to write my own basic manual:
"Life as a Responsible Adult-
Possible side effects include late nights balancing your checkbook and your life, complicated relationships, stress, hair loss, complete "suckiness" (as I like to call it), and loss of the use of your teddy bear, as well as freedom, giddiness, and the all encompassing, at times incredible feeling of love."

Doesn't that seem to make more sense and isn't that much more specific than "the best years of your life?!"

Similes and Metaphors

I've been subbing for an English teacher all week and her kids have been doing similes and metaphors. The following is an assignment she had them complete and I thought it was really fun! It's very creative and gives you insight into people and their values and their likes/dislikes! I'm typing it in blank so you can fill in the blanks yourself! (My answers were at the end!)

Remember- *teacher voice* similes and metaphors compare two unlike things. Similes use like and as, metaphors just say that the first thing is the second. :)

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True joy is:

The ocean is:

The rain is:

Friendship is:

Silence is:

Hatred is:

My mind is:

August is:

Worry is:

Success is:

The snow is:
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So here are my answers:

True joy is a baby's wobbly first steps.

The ocean is a wishing well of hope.

The rain is a welcome friend, lulling me into peacefulness.

Friendship is a tall glass of kool-aid on a sunny summer's day.

Silence is a breath of fresh air, unless preceded by an angry stare.

Hatred is a throny vine growing through society. It needs to be pruned to prevent it taking over the garden. (I know, deep and wonderfully corny, right?)

My mind is a full glass, just waiting for someone to take a drink and prevent it from spilling over.

August is like the end of a roller coaster: you wish the fun could continue, yet you're glad it's over for now.

Worry is a leach in a pond- constantly there and draining.

Success is a light bulb clicking on in a child's mind.

The snow is a soft blanket in the winter for spring's flowers.
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What are your answers? :)