Instruction Manual

Everything you buy these days comes with a set of instructions. Whether it is a bread maching or a mirror, it'll tell you how to use the product and how not to use it. ("Warning: if you are unhappy with what you see when you look into our product do not smash/drop/ destroy our product. Possible side effects may be lacerations, blood loss, and seven years bad luck.")

So here's my question: why can't life come with an instruction manual? AND, more importantly, the warning section of that manual? When you are old enough to be responsible for yourself, why does everyone ONLY say "These are going to be the most wonderful years of your life." We all know there will be some incredible moments in our lives. We all have them and remember them with fondness. But why don't they say "Hey, there are going to be some times, more than you'd like, where you're going to want to bash your head against a wall!" No one says that!!!!! No one talks about the times you'd prefer to stay in bed all day or on the couch in front of the TV lost in someone else's drama.

So I've decided to write my own basic manual:
"Life as a Responsible Adult-
Possible side effects include late nights balancing your checkbook and your life, complicated relationships, stress, hair loss, complete "suckiness" (as I like to call it), and loss of the use of your teddy bear, as well as freedom, giddiness, and the all encompassing, at times incredible feeling of love."

Doesn't that seem to make more sense and isn't that much more specific than "the best years of your life?!"

Similes and Metaphors

I've been subbing for an English teacher all week and her kids have been doing similes and metaphors. The following is an assignment she had them complete and I thought it was really fun! It's very creative and gives you insight into people and their values and their likes/dislikes! I'm typing it in blank so you can fill in the blanks yourself! (My answers were at the end!)

Remember- *teacher voice* similes and metaphors compare two unlike things. Similes use like and as, metaphors just say that the first thing is the second. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True joy is:

The ocean is:

The rain is:

Friendship is:

Silence is:

Hatred is:

My mind is:

August is:

Worry is:

Success is:

The snow is:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So here are my answers:

True joy is a baby's wobbly first steps.

The ocean is a wishing well of hope.

The rain is a welcome friend, lulling me into peacefulness.

Friendship is a tall glass of kool-aid on a sunny summer's day.

Silence is a breath of fresh air, unless preceded by an angry stare.

Hatred is a throny vine growing through society. It needs to be pruned to prevent it taking over the garden. (I know, deep and wonderfully corny, right?)

My mind is a full glass, just waiting for someone to take a drink and prevent it from spilling over.

August is like the end of a roller coaster: you wish the fun could continue, yet you're glad it's over for now.

Worry is a leach in a pond- constantly there and draining.

Success is a light bulb clicking on in a child's mind.

The snow is a soft blanket in the winter for spring's flowers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What are your answers? :)

Some true thoughts for the day:

The teacher I'm subbing for had some sayings on his wall I thought you'd enjoy!

"The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese."

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"How do you know whem you've run out of invisible ink?"


And my personal favorite:

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you."

Just some thoughts to ponder.... :)